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SNM041: Dealing with Depression

I first dealt with suicidal thoughts as a very young child.  Half a dozen shrinks, counselors, and psychiatrists only made things worse.  They tried pills and hypnotism and everything else in their magic bags to no avail.

How Depression Works

Depression is insidious. It's a slowly creeping monster.  It comes on so slowly that we don't take it seriously until it's far too late.  It starts off as a light feeling of loneliness or sadness in the back of your mind.  Before you know it, you don't feel like doing anything.

Shut it Down Fast

My strategy is simple.  As soon as I feel a flicker of depression, I tell the person nearest to me.  I don't wait for it to become overwhelming and yes I have told strangers and people I barely know.

It's embarrassing, but only in your own mind.

Who is upset by hearing this, “I'm feeling depression, we need to do something fun and awesome to stop it from taking hold.”

Nobody hates the idea of fun. Helping me deal with depression is awesome because it involves arcades, surfing or movies.  Dealing with early-stage depression is fun, but dealing with it later is awful.

Emotions are Just Thoughts

People want to tell me all the time that emotions are a special and unique category of thoughts.  We have invented this idea that emotions are powerful.  They are not.  They are simply a category of thoughts and you have the ability to control your thoughts.  Do not give up your power.

Listen to today's episode for several powerful techniques for overcoming depression and some exercises to prove that this method is based in science.

Key Points:

  1. Take action as soon as you notice the feeling
  2. Working for yourself puts you at risk of loneliness
  3. Emotions are just thoughts

Resources Mentioned:

Serve No Master on Amazon

Send in your questions to podcast [at] servenomaster [dot] com

Sponsor:

Digit5Dollar

Read Full Transcript

Dealing with depression on today's episode today's episode is brought to you by digit save money without thinking about it get paid five dollars just for signing [email protected]\digit today are you tired of dealing with your boss you feel underpaid and underappreciated if you want to make it online prior your boss and start living your retirement dreams now you come to the right place welcome to serve no master pod how to open new revenue streams and make money while you sleep presented live from a tropical island in the South Pacific by best-selling author Jonathan Greene now your post a lot about in our special 40th episode the value freedom of having very positive episode today were talking about something that's a little bit tougher and the reason I talk about this is something a lot of people face in isolation and working on your own and allow depression to really creep into your life as a child I suffered from massive amounts of depression I first thought about suicide 106 or seven years old I used to imagine jumping up my parents house on Christmas just to teach them a lesson I had these intense very negative thoughts that were just overpowering and they affected my life in such a negative way by the time of the Haislip parents began sending to different strengths and different types counselors I think I'm in all the different types you know once you prescribed when you can't counselors Frank's psychiatrists psychologists the whole spectrum I went to five or six before I was age of 18 they medicated me in different ways to give me happiness they tried all these different methods on me so I really went through that experience I know it feels like having been through the whole professional spectrum no one ever really helped me completely honest with you none of their method tell me the pills didn't work they just made me feel kind of dead inside which is how they Medicaid a lot of children these days that's more more what ADD medications do we just want to kind of dead in our children's they do we want but all of these psychologists in all their advice to spend their every day or every week he spent hours sitting there just talking about your problems for an hour saying all these negative words in my experiences that the more times than dwelling on negative things more powerful they become now I know that for some people psychiatry and Glenda this type of situation has been very beneficial and helpful for them at the same time you often go to psychologist in his AO water pump fixed in 20 years 20 years to fix problems a really long time and have one friend and I don't know if you ever did it but he really wanted to become a psychologist but only after he'd been section he had a breakdown they put them into one of those places I don't gotta call them anymore I know it's not in asylum anymore was was much nicer than an asylum was more like is Mike an amazing vacation location when he came out he said all the help me so much that's what I will do for my career so it's this business were most people get into it because they had problems so it's this cycle that I don't want to be a part of and is something that I dealt with partially in a very serious level and understanding the way depression works in the way can sneak up on us is the key to solving in dealing with it I know other people I tell you I know other people have different methods other people of different beliefs this is the system that works for me am not telling you to stop going dear Dr. whatever simply telling you what worked for me and totally change my life depression works by slowly creeping up on you it's like a fog at first is just around your feet slowly creeping up a new Norton out and that's not a big deal all shake off it's kind of this denial phase out that that foggy will go away the subtle come out of the disappear and it slowly rises and it's above your legs and then some of your waist and then send it to neck level you start to get worried we can't see anyone asked for help anymore because then it's over your mouth and then your nose in your eyes you can't breathe and you can't see and it suffocates you in this feeling of malaise or that nothing can change it you start to feel down and you feel that nothing will fix the way you feel and it's this sinister power that really depends upon your silence during the first few phases I still to be clear on sleep completely and totally suffer from depression but I haven't managed very successfully when I was younger and I would hit a depression cycle they would last three or four weeks now using my system when I feel a flicker of depression I know it is shop stop and to make it disappear within 15 minutes I don't know how to make depression never tried attack you again but I do not make it go away every single time I've never been depressed last 15 years for more than an hour the longest cycle I've dealt with was an hour compared to days and weeks nothing and knows our long ones haven't happened in a long time either usually it's 10 minutes or less now because I take swift and efficient action understanding that it's slowly creeping and admitting hey this is depression attacking that step one if you can admit what's going on just like I made it with you it's not very exciting for me to admit to you but I suffer from depression we have this social stigma against it and that's part of the problem free to same thing so my step one as I tell the closest person to me as soon as I start to feel depressed Weber standing near me I say I'm feeling depressed if there's no near me I call someone every single time when I first started doing that it was very embarrassing as I do my parents and my sisters it's very hard to say. I got really depressed we have to do something right now but I trained the people around me to immediately take action I say hey we can do something of this depression right now we can wait till tomorrow and I'm to be awful for the next three weeks the people around you love you and care about you and they will be glad to take action the second step in my depression solution regular depression is to isolate activities that solve your problem the things that you like to do for me there ton of things I like to do I like to serve I like the kayak I like to stand up paddle I like to write my exercise bike I like to access my kettle bells I like to watch movies I like to play video games play my guitar I have a host of things I really like to do when you start to feel depressed and once you're in that deep malaise once the fog is above your waist level or your head level you look at those things you I wanted to that I don't play guitar sucks I hate guitar the depression gets strong enough that he convinces you that you don't like thanks so soon as I have a depression Soon as I feel it creeping up on you tell someone around me and we immediately go do something the reason I tell the second person is I needed help for motivation because if it's a powerful strike of depression if it's coming out hard I might not last long enough doing the activity alike but then the person around with Dragon to a movie or go to the batting cages which I absolutely love I wish there was a batting cage here or go to the golf range allocating golf balls will do something that's a quick activity takes less than an hour and suddenly depression disappears for me this technique distracts you from the depression and here's how it works the reason it works there is some science behind us we as a culture have decided that emotions are very special that there are unique occurrence inside of our brains that are more powerful than us we have decided that emotions control behavior and that we have no power over motions that were slaves to our emotions and you see this play out more and more and court cases and other places where they sell it's not my fault it's my emotions as owners of third-party inside of you controlling everything and this is bad science real science this emotions or thoughts that one sentence will change your life because of emotions or thoughts you have the ability to control them I have complete and total control over my emotions some people around me don't really believe in that but understanding the science understanding that thoughts our control but we choose we think about we believe that emotions are so powerful that they can control our thought life we can affect them but there simple tests you can do simple experiments that can prove I'm correct I'm a big they believe in science and rather primitive the first thing I like to do is prove there's a connection between your body and your emotions and that you can control it if you pause this episode go look in front of Americo Stennett from your right now and I want you to frown make the biggest frown you can count to 30 inside your head by the end of those 30 seconds you'll start to feel pretty pretty bad if you break down you like to know what I hate Jonathan I hate to serve the Metropark as I think many cancel I don't listen that garbage anyways and it but if you then force yourself to make a big cheesy smile no matter what encounter 30 again you find your mood complete shifts into the positive you become very happy again emotions control behavior behavior also controls emotions it's a two-way communicative street you can control your emotions on a basic level this is the first test so simple experiment is the next time you feel sad or depressed stand in front of me are and say I'm good to be depressed but I'm getting Stanford's men smile for three minutes after that I would be as depressed as I want that all given to this motion and you discover most the time you shut down the depression feeling let's go one step beyond that let's give one more experiment to prove that I'm not just podcast dumb dumb when you have a thought in your mind something you really focused on if something else happens if there's an emergency that thought disappears for example you have a shopping list you need to buy 10 things today if you go to the movies and watch a movie the movie takes so much of your attention that the shopping list disappears from your mind you no longer think about behavior can affect her thoughts in fact things that become important can be crushed by more important priorities so the next time you're feeling depressed think about what would happen if there was a fire you're lying in bed super depressing sadism I want to get a bed today if the house caught on fire you would stop thinking about your impression immediately your priorities would change and if emergencies can shift your priorities and anything else can ship your priorities because we determine what our emergency we have the choice inside of our brains to decide if that fire is an emergency or not I've seen plenty of people in a fire fire not that big of a deal when I was younger I served on Indians for year I saw a real fire I thought real fire start I saw someone flicked his cigarette out the window of the van into some bushes and I watched it catch on fire would almost never happens does sometimes for this furniture store I will tell you I couldn't believe how fast the fire grew you hear about and you hear about forest fires this fire went from nothing to 12 or 15 feet tall in about 10 seconds I jumped in the immense grabbed a fire extinction walked out and the fire that was inside of a little bush that was nothing was now touching the eaves of this furniture store unbelievable other endowment applets were burned to the ground if we had in their name is we just happen to be there we are eating at the restaurant next door walking out to the van what happened was total lock that save this entire business from a little cigarette fire fire is very powerful very fast we don't always treated as an emergency it's an active decision decided something as an emergency you have the ability with the way you thought with the way you put your thoughts and the way you prioritize to push these negative thoughts wake up this is just a thought feeling satisfied is not important to push away this is one of the science and you can actively do this I find it really helps to bring someone else into my life and you will actually do something rather than just trying fight depression in my mind you can suggest we put depression down by going hey this is just a thought I want to start something make me happy I don't think things make me sad either take total control of your depression like this is my personal experience I find that it's very powerful I find this is a very powerful technique and can really help you the reason were talking about depression a little bit on a podcast it's about working for yourself and achieving success is that you will experience moments of loneliness when you work by yourself I am around my kid my family all the time and sometimes in working on locked in about my headphones on and really really focused in these flickers of depression could hit me this flickers of loneliness because I'm around everyone but I'm a little bit lonely and it's totally an artificial construct I have no reason to feel loneliness my kids are amazing and at that stage in life are my kids love spending time with me damn turn on the I'm surrounded by people that love spending time with me that I really really enjoy so the loneliness feeling is not real artificial to artificial construct created by my depression and stress try to sneak in by hiding behind another name this is a very long episode and that's because set a very complicated problem I solution to deal with depression is very simple as you're moving forward I want to prepare you for things before they happen I wanted share this message with you before you email me saying finally quit my job and I'm so depressed because I'm so lonely I don't anyone hang out with all day I want to give you some of these tools so you can deal with this problem in advance some of the other structural decisions you can make changes you can make when you leave your job behind when you get working for yourself you need to find a support group people around you that are on the same path and these can be in the form of masterminds or Meetup.com meet ups find other people on the same path as you you can talk to because your struggles become unique the reason we have such great rapport with our coworkers is because we have the same experience we can complain about what it's like so with our boss I cannot complain about work to my girlfriend she doesn't know what it's like she doesn't write books so even though it shall listen and shall commiserate be very supportive she doesn't know the experience in the same way that complaining or talking other author can connect with me she does notice like to get a bad review on a book because she's never written a book and explain things that she does that I do not know how to commiserate with her about I don't know that experience surrounding yourself with people on the same path can be very very helpful I talked over and over again how joining mass runs drainage group helps you financially but also helps you emotionally give you the social context the social contact a lot of new mothers we are right a lot of books in the mom space a lot of new mothers struggle for depression because you leave the workforce and suddenly you're just run your kid all the time you have no other adults to talk to as much as you love your child you need another release which is why people develop mommy need programs and other money get together places my mom's love to get go to the park I understand all of that it's the same type of experience it's going to be around people time to being a little bit by yourself all the time so your three action steps the three key steps for dealt with depression are admitting it admitting that your feeling of loneliness or sadness taking immediate action and remembering that it's just a thought you have the ability to change what you think about if you take those three steps anytime depression attached to you be able to overcome it and begin to develop a social bulwark against that situation if you're staying at home and your partners at work you can't tax them as they come home until depressed by her like that at all that I can respond positively that I know that that's why you want to find other home workers are at home moms and dads developing this other group developing a mastermind or social group you can call them and they had to do something right away I'm feeling depressed I do what I want to kick in people don't look down and you when you say depressed it only comes from the Prussian self try to convince you that it's bad asked for help because if you don't ask for help then depression become more more powerful overwhelm you so whether doing with feelings of sadness are having bad days I get hit with little hits from random places sometimes oh Amazon does always update fast enough sometimes a look at it looks like and had a terrible sales day, just don't let any my books today I guess I'm a loser and I looked two hours later updates and sold a ton of books but I have this cake a depression when I see that this depression thinks it sees an opportunity to attack me and because I'm proactive it can never sneak in the door it can hit me last for a few seconds ago what you kidding this is getting away I turned my girlfriend's and fill little bit sad about these numbers let's go do something taking action can really change your life it can shutdown depression and remove remove this cursory life and give you real freedom which is what you deserve the semester isn't just about making money it's about so much more is about total and complete lifestyle change and I want to help you transition into an amazing life and part of that is sharing and honesty about something that I really doubt with something that I really struggle with his get I haven't seen a professional since I was 1720 years now I don't need it thought of sitting and talk about my problems all the time it doesn't appeal to me I don't want to talk about negative things because then he gives them life and they become powerful I would much rather talk about really happy things and the negative feelings disappear they fade away I really hope that this lesson is been powerful for you and want you to know don't worry I'm not always can have negative lessons this is a lesson of hope as well so you can overcome these negative feelings the next lesson which I'm very excited about our next episode talk about finding your passion for people to messaging me saying I want to work on the passion project I'm not sure and passionate about some people you have a passion sounds crazy but if you know it's holy reason like holding her Savior coming from finding your passion is very important you don't want to guess wrong and go down the path start a business got all you not passionate about this some very excited about than in the next episode and I'm very excited to spend more time with you and remember anytime you're filling wellness or kicking oppression you can fight against it if you need a message someone you can email me I'll check email on today so not the best resource in the world is sometimes needed immediate reply but I'm there for you on this journey together I'm a little higher up the mountain and you and it's my job and my duty to cut away the branches and guide you have the correct path so I'm here for you in any way that you need I appreciate you being with me on this lesson very excited to record more of my podcast episodes on the beach I love being a paradise and just enjoying being outdoors this transition is very pleasant for me such as I enjoy recording inside recording outside is a thousand times better even though you do get a little bit of bird noise and ocean noise I hope you appreciate the sounds of paradise they're coming in your future very soon that you so much for listening and remember you have the ability to control your depression does not have the ability to control you thank you for listening to this week's episode no master make sure you subscribe so you never miss another episode will be back tomorrow with more tips and tactics on how to escape the rat race head over to serve no master.com/podcasts now for your chance to win a free copy of Jonathan's bestseller serve no master all you have to do is leave a five star review of this podcast see you tomorrow thank you for listening this episode of the cervical master podcast join me on my Facebook [email protected]\serve no master

*As stated in the episode, don't stop taking your medication or quit going to your doctor.  This is the technique that works for me and it can help you to overcome depression as well, but it's not meant to replace professional medical advice.

Jonathan Green
 

Living the dream on a tropical island, Jonathan is the author of Serve No Master and the host of the Serve No Master Podcast.

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 1 comments
Penny Lane - November 7, 2016

I love this post. I particularly like your view on how to take action. I had the same experience with psychiatrists. They all seemed like kooks to me.

By best friend my whole life, who was like my brother, died suddenly when he was 24 years old. That changed my life and I got really depressed. Everyone was acting like it wasn’t ok to grieve and some quack tried to put me on antidepressants which made me feel worse.

I’m really glad the trend is now leaning toward positive psychology and happiness research versus paying someone $200 an hour each week to talk about what is wrong with your life.

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