At my last convention in Bangkok, I hesitated when I saw someone I recognized. This time in San Deigo, I knew I had to live up to my reputation. I recognized the star of one of my favorite investment shows and was so nervous I was twitching…
Judge a Book by Its Cover
I only have one shirt. I own more than thirty of this shirt in various colors.
The shirt is six bucks at the mall I visit once a year; every time I'm up there I grab all the new colors.
Sometimes I'm lucky and the shirt is on sale for four bucks; that's a great day!
Just before my trip to California, I grabbed eight new colors including a bright red.
Normally I wouldn't wear any bright colors, but when you live on a tropical island you don't need to dress in black all the time to look cool.
At this event, all the staff were wearing red shirts covered with writing and the name of the event.
Multiple people asked me for directions simply because my shirt was red, including a guy who got mad at me for wearing red and not working there.
He basically called me rude for wearing a red shirt and tricking him.
After that interaction, I went to my room and put on one of my other colors.
When you wear a color matching the staff, people won't notice the differences.
Even though every other shirt was covered in red writing, people assumed I was part of the staff. They were locked into the similarity of my shirt and not the differences.
We've all seen the kid who doesn't quite have the right uniform, so he puts on the only red shirt he has.
Their assumption wasn't that crazy, but it was annoying for me after the 5th person.
I threw an awesome party, set up some huge business deals and spent a lot of time partying in the Presidential Suite of the hotel.
These strangers walked up to me and without knowing it, they had access to one of the most well-connected people there.
But they were so caught up in their preconceptions that they asked me for directions instead of asking about my business.
This is exactly what happened when people saw Ron.
The guy looks like a farmer and that's the world he comes from.
As someone who wears the same outfit every day, I can appreciate someone else who does the same thing.
The guy doesn't dress like a “business owner” or an “Internet marketer.”
When the clothing doesn't match the preconception, people can really screw up their chances.
I saw someone making fun of him for looking different.
These people were employees, not bosses like me.
When I walked over and explained that they were talking about the most successful guy in the building, they shut their mouths.
The Stealthy Advantage
My wife is way too good looking for me.
When I joined eHarmony a few years ago, they only gave me matches that were at least ten years older than me.
Objectively, I'm not a good looking guy. I'm boring and I don't stick out in a crowd.
When most people here that they think I'm demonstrating low self-esteem, but they are missing the boat.
I have moved to the phase beyond that.
My boringness is my greatest advantage.
It was my greatest weapon when I was single and it gives me a killer edge when I'm networking.
Only people who know me, know to approach me.
I don't have to spend time dealing with people who think I might be somebody important but aren't sure.[easy-tweet tweet=”The perfect spy is the one that nobody notices or remembers.” user=”ServeNoJonathan” hashtags=”servenomaster”]
The Great Opportunity
Every time I told someone that I recognized Ron from a TV show they wanted to meet him and talk to him.
My fandom became infectious.
I don't know why people don't watch his show because it's awesome
Watching him barrel through the bar in a demolition project is one of the best things I've seen on television in a long time.
Because no one else recognized him, I was able to walk up and have no competition.
I forged a great relationship and we've already chatted a few times in the past weeks.
He's one of the most amazing people I've met in ages and I'm so stoked to share the story with you on today's episode.
- Don't be afraid to talk to your heroes
- Break through the fan barrier
- Give value rather than taking
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Send in your questions to podcast [at] servenomaster [dot] com
How to meet your heroes on today's episode today's episode is brought to you by fresh books accounting and bookkeeping mistakes destroy thousands of small businesses every single day bookkeeping doesn't have to be hard turn to the number one invoicing software for small businesses start for free [email protected]\fresh books are you tired of dealing with your boss do you feel underpaid and underappreciated if you want to make it online fire your boss and start living your retirement dreams now then you come to the right place welcome to serve no master pot on how to open new revenue streams and make money while you sleep presented live from a tropical island in the South Pacific by best-selling author Jonathan Greene now your post finally back home to my island I've only been back for half a day filament catalogs have woken up at three in the morning rather than trying to read or go back to bed at the great opportunity record a few mating podcast episodes of course I come outside and there's a pretty severe windstorm right now hopefully were in between a couple of big guys talk about something that's really really exciting and that is that you can meet and connect with just about anyone in the world when you begin to understand the way principles work as I mentioned the last time I traveled I traveled to Thailand I saw one of the two-minute marketing world one person at a my list is that all that's a person like to meet and honestly it was just the person who I saw on the speakers list what thought was the most famous the very first morning I conference I saw my breakfast and I didn't do anything I thought all that might not be him I have that thought is not great at recognizing people and I thought it might not be him if I walk up but they could just order looks like him he could be a whole thing by time I was sure was him like 10 people surrounding the table and was a little bit too much for me after that experience I'll be honest I was embarrassed if I can let you guys down I did some amazing networking I did meet some celebrities including DJ Goldie who did he was private email address to me wet at the same event but anytime I slip I feel like I have to step up and do a little better by you guys you deserve better happy perfect every single time I hold myself to a high standard when I was in California last week as you surely know California's filled with amazing celebrities as at this conference with about 5000 people and there was one person there who didn't look like everyone else now whatever else this is just a guy was dressed like a farmer but I kept look at the sky going to sky looks it's actually like the man from my favorite TV show and I was worried I was at all you know it maybe is everyone in the overall severe looks the same to me because where I live pretty much ever and always wears T-shirts or shorts or swimsuit and no shirt I never see anyone wearing jeans what on overall so maybe it's just that I've been away so long I'm sitting on their table with my dad and I see the guy for about the third or fourth time standing a few feet away from me angle's you know what I think this is the guy for my favorite TV show have to talk to my hearts racing absolute racing I just don't know what else at this conference recognize the guy happened to be back for what my favorite TV shows and if you look it up as a amazing TV show called blue-collar backers it's a an investment TV show I say all the time I watch investment TV shows and this is one of this is a show about people who invest not just money but labor Seville invest in the business with Lexi going physically do things to help improve the business so this guy is pumping you to put a new floor in your business are faced helping you to move to new location will actually be on site working with the construction team using a hands-on investor and to me that's very fascinating because I come from a world where nothing's physical everything I sell everything I teach it just knowledge and information so to watch someone at the other inspectors purely physical I really like that I really like the show initials of my favorite guy in the show and the second Summit event echo is this Ron Douglas examined the guy and I find he said you know what I got to go in and note in the room who was I guess that overwatch is awesome show I don't know why it's different when my favorite show some Discovery Channel and go over and talk to them and I'm like hey look if you are who I think you are I'm a huge fan of your show my wife watch it all the way out a little island in the middle of nowhere I talked to my friend from Canada we watch the show on Skype to talk about it music yeah that's me of man I'm such a big fan of the way he operates his business lead vessel really like everything about it we talk about the show we talk with him and I can say that walking up to someone who at least to me as a celebrity I grew up around rock stars run movie stars but someone was like something a little bit different than for show that only I like is really really cool for me and I talking to me how this amazing conversation and to meet someone that you really like is wonderful so nice talk to his kids a talk to my kids which change information is working on a book is a that's what I do I would love to connect we can talk what your book and all those cool things I can help you guide you on that down the path that's my wheelhouse and so we exchange Skype information via Skype back and forth two or three times in the weeks since I met him been just about seven days what I want you to realize is that even for me someone is much leverage for the state if you celebrities in that moment's I was sitting there next to my dad talk if you my friend who I think that's this guy pulled my phone and noted reckless show known as watch that I see every episode I Irene Bess email showing always different things he did but no one else recognize but for me it was someone I wanted to meet I can meet some really cool this event this will be the guy and the my heart was racing when I get nervous it is exactly same thing happened back when I was single fussy beautiful what I want to talk to there be this moment I see her and I want to talk to her and my heart gets filled with terror my heart starts racing my start sweating I get so nervous now I'm naturally a very skittish person so the first thing I train myself to it was to hide nervousness inside my heart is boiling like a teakettle but outside I looked totally comparable collected and it simply because I practice hiding my fear that's all there is to people think that I'm fearless but in that moment I was really nervous sweating and that's when I feel the most alive when you go I'm afraid to do it anyways and I walkover and me up talking five steps so close was standing there waiting for spread with this amazing conversation and after the first five seconds nervous is when it honestly is the first have also asked acting a little starstruck and it's because I kind of let it build up in my mind I've met other sums for acting this too much on the go I got from a big fan I got to meet you but after 10 seconds and transition into who I am is ago what you doing here is this your type thing has your TV show going what's going next we had a really amazing conversation and transitioned in less than two minutes exchanging information so what you see and when we understand that even when you're terrified even when you're sweating your palms are sweaty walk up to someone after you get over that initial fear in 10 15/22 you have a normal conversation actually form a connection to complete simple business deadline that's what's really powerful about understanding networking see even though I'm nervous and scared want to start talking to someone I go in and networking autopilot mode I going to what are you doing here you know what are you enjoying how can I give you value that's I could be found out is think about publishing a book are people telling to write a book with doubts as will a sale data and some of us would love to help I love to give you value it's fascinating with this event is it's all filled with Internet markers its office on my nerves and no one else recognize this guy is kind of outlier but as soon as I would tell people what is the only guy shown me that guy sounds amazing so my passion for someone my belief in someone alters other people's perceptions it also I have a new he's very successful some people like to hear of your successful I love connecting the people who are successful in different ways to me and cannot I live in the middle of nowhere on island and all I want your business vesting shows were the odds them to meet one of the people in the shows I watch in that three days in a California year the pretty slim what turned out pretty high actually looking with hindsight are hundred percent that was my one big opportunity I actually ended up seeing him again I just as you leave in the next day and said you had talked for two minutes and say goodbye to solidify the connection and for me it was a moment to meet someone that I look up to and it was really exciting for me so it was frightening I would say add Stephanie for me the highlight of my entire trip I a lot of great moments a lot of wonderful things happen I met wonderful people did a lot of great business deals but this was a real outlier what I want you to understand their couple of key components from the story the first is that celebrity is perception to everyone else in the room I was walking up and talking to a random stranger the only reason I was nervous was because I knew was and therefore in my mind this was slavery I can tell you right now when the nicest people ever talked no pretentiousness no I been a TV show yada yada just a really solid as nice a person if you ever imagine as nice as I hope I am with people who are fans me me me just absolutely genuine and tier 1 it's good quality person as you could ever meet and if you look on the blog posts for this episode he could see the picture we took together and you can see how big a smile on my face I was rocking a smile for the next two days like you wouldn't believe but celebrity or the difficulty meeting people is often only in our minds when I lived in England I met celebrities all the time but it was never a big deal because different shows I didn't know so I didn't recognize them it's only when you realize someone is a celebrity begin to act differently and we have to control that inclination and that's how we form strong connections when you can overwhelm or overcome the desire within you to treat people differently because of something in their lives help sometimes people treat me differently I want my favorite stories is also one of my weirdest stories back when I was teaching dating a long time ago is now full 10 years ago I was in my favorite bar in London I can't for the name of it anymore but it's in the stables in Camden the fun bar filled with people and I was there with a student were just talking to people okay and he's practicing talking lazy Waterman talks a really nice girl have a great connection Everest and the board on my light that's really all I do is to hear somebody say to someone to happen all I teach is to teach people how to come over that exact same fear I felt when I saw celebrity and someone recognizing from one of my books or something walk I consider you so and so is he at its meaning is oh my gosh you're my hero, the things that sweet caissons on the other side of this experience and the news on so sorry for disturbing you a bout and then backed away from me now I was super board was happy to have someone to talk to section when he walked up to also sizing out onto board but this guy back out to me which is crazy it's all Timmons or Emily bowed to my member it we all react to perception to everyone else in the bar just a random guy to this one guy how some of his login read online out there for zero create heroes in our minds to be with the are your heroes are different than mine your favorite shows are different than mine and you react differently whether immediately note celebrities are famous athletes your perception controls that level of fear now can't alter your knowledge it's kind of like the forbidden fruit from the garden of Eden once you know some of the celebrity it's hard to act like you don't know so we have to do is exactly talk about take your fear is what I do the so many books about like magical techniques for overcoming your fear but what I just do is in that moment I absolutely know I'm alive I it's that feeling of adrenaline and I've turned into a positive I look and I go about I'm deftly like I gotta do this specially for them ever to my list and read my blog and read my books you hear about the story have to do this even if I'm wrong but… In that moment of absolute fear I thrive on it so I've created my mind a positive way to look at the fear but also take all that fear and I just hide it inside my body I don't show it on the outside so I'm still afraid it's not that I'm not afraid it's not that I'm not nervous still there I just don't show it to the world I know my body and then the the next thing I want you to know is that most people when you treat them like normal people when you follow the principles of networking talk about over and over again you say oh I want to treat this person like I want to be treated that I mean in the most core level I just teaching the golden rule treat people the way you want to be treated if someone walked up to you that means that when I see a celebrity eating Otis is on want to meet eating or in a meeting I don't disturb okay I did see someone else the road like to meet but it was a time that would've been inappropriate for them your desire to meet someone should never overwhelm your respect space I waited for the moment where the guy like Ron was standing by himself waiting for a friend or something he was standing alone for about two minutes by walk-up and a little of the board and that's your opportunity to help this person just waiting for someone great chance to walk up you don't walk up to me when try to feed my son you don't want to do that you my son is one years old it's hard it takes my total focus is rambunctious I got do all those things I am a church in a choking at sticks all my folks anyone to let someone else if you see me at the airport or waiting for a plane hello of course I want to talk to Haley from sites like having just been on five different planes last week to get home for this conference I can tell you that's a great chance to approach someone so paying attention not just your desire but also to the other person's experience gives you great opportunity waiting for the right moment can turn awkward uncomfortable to second conversation into a very friendly 10 minute amazing counter the following are simple principles again you want to overcome your fear are just know that living the fears awesome you want to make sure that the right moment for the person on the middle doing something important or you're not going to be overly disturbing them and sometimes find that balance is a little bit hard sometimes to people talking and sometimes it's okay and sometimes.I wish I could take that get it held that guy comes from experience like if some of the bow in the middle proposing to their fiancé or their girlfriend slightly if you think not the right moment what two people are standing there talking about the weather or talk about the airplane waiting for it's okay the second balance there's a time when you can walk up and you just come from express meal to tell or eliciting it for a few seconds if you're having important conversational kind of an inane conversation something with my wife I don't mind if you walk up and sometimes my wife I do from with my wife and were talking about when we should have our next child please wait a minute but him with my wife and were talking about her favorite TV show please come up and save me what you found the remote once you walked up your goal is to break the ice and in this case is only a very real US it hey if you are who I think you are absolutely love your show now if you just stop there it is for your celebrity would act weird it can have an awkward conversation so instead what I said as I watch her show I live in a tiny tropical island with my wife all true all the things I sent you and for us your shows really special and so what I did is to summing the show at him and make about our experience and that's interesting so now I've mentioned I looked up violent that's what I do full-time I can start to have a normal conversation your goal is to transition through the fan phase normal conversation for someone that's what you really want to have it I wanted signature or any that stuff I just want to meet someone that I really like and look up to let them know I love your show and find out what is doing their and so then in the next bit of the conversation it's out rapport and giving value finding common ground he got seven kids I got to he's got seven kids I got to about to have number three were gonna try to get pregnant in about two months try to resist the urge to get my wife pregnant right now so we can have good time and will try to have two years between each of our children where three years between number one and number two and now I feel like a kid I was a good But between the next to it should be two years beg is a common ground to talk to someone some people want to hear about stories from my dating pass I did celebrities are stuff like that but nowadays most people I mean they've got kids advocates we talk about that so that's how he formerly reported having a really cool conversation about our families and the transition a what are you doing here what you looking for an start talking about how I do books to be shown as the music sees the show and the needs are time and all my friends always told me to do book is only know it that's my wheelhouse that's the thing about that and if you been following me actually a few days ago if you fall me when and Monday of the conference was the day that my book what to number two on Amazon the day that thanks to all the people on my email list of the push number six and get ahead of Harry Potter for just just three hours just three hours IB Harry Potter and you know what still an amazing feeling that's real hard I don't have a big publishing house I don't have seven movies behind my theories I haven't written 10 other fantasy books haven't written some of the best books in history was really amazing in that moment is very excited and so knowing what I'm good at his big-time couple talking about what people so following this pattern right you focus on rapport you find it was someone seeking member we find the value they're seeking how can I make sure you have a really great experience here and that's what happens we had this amazing connection's amazing conversation and it was it was five and a seven minute conversation yesterday and I did ask take a picture together but only after a given value only uproots what swot Information my focus and even now in our relationship right the one thing I'm thinking about is how can I help him make his book be great my focus is still early days of my relationship with this person with this amazing personal celebrity one of my heroes for how they approach business really understands business and how he treats people is to give value first section nothing I want from I don't want to be a guest on this TV show I don't want them to interesting other people from the show I just want to let him know that I like him and I saw an opportunity give value now down the line we may do something really cool together who knows that's never in my mind it's not anything of thinking about so even now in the post first encounter my goal is to give value and maybe someday there'll be a value return them or maybe not I'm not even worried about that because they have the mindset of favors is a muscle my value from this whole interactions that I overcame my fear had an amazing conversation and now can actually interact with some really cool able to give value so every step in this process giving values my primary motivator it's important that when you do this when you meet people like this you don't have a hidden ulterior motive most people really successful and counter those hidden ulterior motive people all the time and they can detect the goat was something weird about this conversation now I know this is very sad there's this dating movie called the Tao of Steve we talked about be without intent and it's come from Buddhism and is this fact I was really great dating women in this subparts the movie that are great in some parts are but there's a couple things he teaches in the top Steve there interesting and one of them is to be without attendance and how can I get a date with a woman and pretend I don't want to be today with the that's really hard the key word there is pretend and the way we overcome that is to be in the moment and to think not about what can people do for me but to think what can I do for people I don't want to teach like far Eastern religion on this podcast but I want to teach a simple principle this is just a growth on the golden rule is that I believe when you do good things for other people other people do good things for you it's not always the same other people I made to help the sky publish his book to become process one just because a French writer may offer little guidance or maybe something also come of it but I may simply give value right now is my take is to give value to someone that I really like heading is really cool was a very nice momentum and that may be the end of our relationship and then in two years someone else comes in the my life was a fan of me and gives me value so even though we can't write a paper that connection attract the things I see value in and that's why give as much Isaac and that's why am one of the people who response to every single email I get and earlier this week I was on the 30 hour flight back to back 30 hours of flying the middle of which was a 16 hour flight from America to China man I am not going on a flight again I've learned my lesson when you travel that far it's hard to check your email and I felt really bad for some people email me I edit them in the back for day and 1/2 as I want to give people that experience it for me even though I'm flying and so far I still think all and so so I want to give value give value give value and I hate to make people wait is most people you know I check my email once a day if you email me should expect to file the 24 hours but every once in a while to three times a year fate intervenes and in this case I might layover was in China and I forgot that there is the great firewall of China which was I can access my emails even those of the airport even though I did manage to get online plus I don't really want to enter all my passwords at this particular airport who knows what happens right I don't want to get my email probably art is and essay promise Every email I got anyways but just in case I want the Chinese percent as it happens well like only one cup cut you time spying on me if possible but giving value as a core mindset makes everything easier so I give value to people who are above me and below me it's all perception every time he told my first thought is how can I help this person be more successful help this person have more fun and I dig deeper and deeper into these principles and some of the more advanced networking courses but this is a really simple principle and this is how you can meet people that you look up to pick me people that are your heroes it doesn't matter if it's a business hero or TV hero or local hero often times the people we want to meet the most are not movie stars I met a bunch of losers is all right it's cool is nothing wrong then they're very good at their craft but for me I like to meet people who were like local heroes the person is like the best in your city the best small business owner or someone who's got a really cool local radio show all those things are cool as well and this I can meet anyone across the spectrum of all these very simple principles and you can meet your heroes and maybe even get to do this thank you for listening to this week's episode serve no master make sure you subscribe so you never miss another episode will be back tomorrow with more tips and tactics on how to escape that reference head over to serve no master.com/podcasts now for your chance to win a free copy of Jonathan's bestseller serve no master all you have to do is leave a five star review of this podcast see you tomorrow thank you for listening 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