SNM 157: Are Your Sales Letters Trash?

The way you structure your sales letters will determine the amount of sales you actually make. Throw statistics out, use quotes and show evidence through pictures, before and after photos work great. Testimonials are great too. Real people are relatable.

Structure is everything


Structure is more important than content.

Bad words written in the right order is more effective than good words written in the wrong order.Click To Tweet

Presenting an exorbitant price before showing the value of the product could deter all your clients.

Talking about things that could happen in the future that the listener could relate to and imagine happening in their own lives will make it more likely for them to buy.

Looking for similar sales letters in your target market could help you create a good, trusted structure to start with.

Don’t ever plagiarise! Reverse engineering is a good way to start from scratch and could inspire even greater ideas.

Borrowing traffic from Affiliates with PPC


Spend as little as possible and be cautious about how you spend.

You’ll never have 100% conversion rates and that’s okay.

The price you pay per click is so important.

Conversion rates should be directly proportionate to price per click.

Proof and Refunds


It’s really disappointing to have to honor refunds but it’s so necessary. It will help you make more sales. I’m always encouraging reviewer contests, because feedback is golden.

Constructive criticism has inspired the next product I am creating.

Listen for how I structure my Sales letters on today’s episode…


Show Notes:


Key Points:

  1. Structure is more important than content.
  2. Follow the structure of similar sales letter for your target market
  3. Encourage reviews on your products

Resources Mentioned:

Books by Jonathan

Most other links can be found in my TOOLBOX


Send in your questions to podcast [at] servenomaster [dot] com











Read Full Transcript

Are your sales letters garbage find out what days episode today's episode is brought to you by SCM rush started in 2008 with one mission to make online competition fair and transparent with equal opportunities for all to find out how I see them rushing up you compete with the big boys go to serve no\SEM rush today are you tired of dealing with your boss you feel underpaid and underappreciated if you want to make it online fire your boss and start living your retirement dreams now then you've come to the right place welcome to serve no master podcast where you learn how to open new revenue streams and make money while you sleep presented life from a tropical island in the South Pacific by best-selling author Jonathan Greene now your post when you're first starting out billing on my business or any type of small business often have limited funds you want to accomplish as much as possible spending as little as possible sing black as quickly as possible I think so many ventures that start out with a great deal of money crashes per because that response with that money we have massive amount of money 25,000 for thousand dollars $100,000 nose cautious but how you spend it and sometimes you can spend on things that take you nowhere but for most of us were going down that path were trying to really build our business on the first area is really had wallet about your challenges with copywriting writing sales letters writing emails writing often forms the things that get people to take action this is where we can start to have a bit of a struggle and you write that first sells letter you hope you did everything right but after and then you have to ask yourself this question is this good work is doing a good and the only way to really find out is to by traffic or send traffic and show that sales are a bunch of people a lot of new people in business are struggling and so we try to go down the JV path which is way smart traffic we talked about that a few episodes ago we talked about find borrower by traffic and borrowing traffic is what you get someone else to send their customers to your sales page but here's the thing you only get one shot at – if you put up an offer and that people start to send it customers to that page and the page doesn't make sales the patient to convert the pages and profitable just hit the numbers they're looking for then you burn that relationship forever and will never give you a second chance getting a first chance is really hard getting a second chance is pretty close to impossible the way affiliates and JVs measure the effectiveness of the page is called EPC earnings per click from your first affiliate first person you convince me borrow subtract from the bar so my traffic went out to is sending an email out to my audience I'll send an email out placenta 2000 people I then measure how many people click inside the email go to your sales page so if I send a thousand people actually to your sales page W hundred percent click through rate which never happened more likely that let's say 10% so I is a thousand people as an email to hunch people click the link and go to your sales page your conversion rate will be having people out of 100 by so for people make a purchase at those hundred the media converter is 4% and that's okay that's actually pretty good conversion rate for sales page not bad what's more important is the price we got you charging for your product you're charging seven dollars that means $20 comes in so hundred clicks $20 you earn per click is about $2.80 however that's only for given the affiliate hundred percent African affiliate 50% earnings per click is a dollar 40 and they might decide where they might be someone who is used to making a higher numberyou look your numbers are high enough company continue to mail you either raise my percentage survey earnestly goes above the dollar 50 for your part ways is your conversion rates just to love a surprise you can also try to raise your price and see the conversion rate stays static raised to nine dollars in her still converting 4% then again you happy affiliate but this we go to split testing experimenting but before all that happened you still need to have an effective sales letter poorly written sales letter can actually convert at zero it's very normal for someone's first sales letter for squeeze page for the copywriting to be a coldhearted zero copywriting is not easy to learn with a few tricks and tips that I can give you make sure that you're not putting up your garbage number one structure is more important than content a bad sales letter bad words written in the right order will be more effective the good words in the wrong order if you're not sure what I mean imagine your watching infomercial and it starts on the same 1995.2 sewer selling and then it begins to tell you about the product that infomercial will do very well the show the price at the wrong time what if the mistake was even smaller the 1995 you get everything you see here in fact were not to charge $200 for Michael charge to $80 trying to charge you $50 when it feel weird if they did that price drop technique you are near the price of course would and that's only moving things around by about 30 seconds that's all it takes to throw off the flow of the sales letter and there actually couple of really good structures and templates going out there for the order publish sales letter and you can find them online and there's different places and I follow pretty basic structure I'm working on putting a structure into a new book I'm working on so much they'll release my but it starts off with the sub headline hostess for attention with this problem headline how would you like the solution how would you like this benefits sub headline secondary benefit or disclaimer without spending all the money half and then you begin to go in your personal story here's who I am like should listen to me as the problem-solving and the benefits for you imagine a life like this is a flow-through story structure is very important so the first thing to look at with the new sales letter is the structure the order of events the series in which things happen is absolutely critical you don't have to write from template most my better letters are written for template instead the renter process of reverse engineering reverse engineering is not the same as plagiarizing plagiarizing is very not to come stay copywriters interesting new copywriters or new product creators will steal sells learning a well thought books are not plagiarizing but in fact you are doing from operators uncool it's very dangerous because if that copywriter catches you and you just stolen two sentences they can take you to court and argue those two sentences the reason you made every single cell you may and they can demand 100% of your profits doesn't happen very often but when it does it's not a good feeling don't put yourself in a vulnerable position reverse engineering is where you look at the structure of the story the same reason that the drum rhythm to a song it's not owned anyone can play the drummer than to any other song someone Writes the lyrics and converts the music of the song the drumming is never included slight drummers if you like to get the short shrift but the be asked to comment only so many beats is only so many rhythms it's very limited area for that reason not considered unique enough to defend or target no one else can play that room on the drums again because if we had that role by now there be no more new song to song. About 40 years ago or 50 years ago the just not that many different rhythms you can play drum kit in the same way the beats of the story*not copyright you can replicate the rhythm of Star Wars if you want to tell a story in fact most movies and most books that are trying to do the same thing that's what they do they start off with you getting introduced to someone in trouble can they shoot to another scene begins with a find someone is living a life that fully satisfied with the work that you will stepparent to have some type of problem in their life of the field limited in the beginning on a journey if you watch a lot of really popular movies they follow the same structure and structures okay to replicate because of works if you look at music there's actually company team in Sweden called his factory that's what they do they look at the perfect structural songs they can look a song to this will be hit this will be hit here's a change in the majority of top 10 songs in the world are in a minor C major all in the same key additionally one in every 10 top 10 songs in England has what angels in the title another little tip of your English you want to have a big hit what were angel and each of your song titles but chances norms little things allows us to minute with the odds were working a sales letter what that means you find the sales letter that after the same market is yours if you are after the weight loss market in your specifically targeting was there trying to lose weight after having a baby the postpartum weight loss if you will you find a similar product is not quite the same babe what you're providing as a Jazzercise program or a weightlifting program or a diet you can find a postpartum yoga weight loss program out there and find their sales letter that's doing well and then you look at the structure in the same way I began to talk about the story structure you look at the order in which they say things how to start your introduction anyone take their script and break it down into story beats and again you don't want to copy down a single word from their letter you can start off with saying in a personal introduction or benefits more problems and try to really just narrow down the idea of what they're talking about of the section and sometimes we can break a sales letter down a simplified sales letter like most a minor 20 sections are left sometimes are just 12 or 13 more simple structures if I'm doing a video sales letter reverse engineer some time to come up with 50 parts are breaking into different parts now there's a part that I called the worst moment my life with a talk about the worst thing that ever happened in this type of sales video this is where the presenter will say I just had my baby I'm so fat I thought the house was never in touch me again sir having medical problems the doctor home couldn't sleep next my baby Summit roll over on top of a child and kill them come to having they start describing the worst things happen in their life nets would have their moment of revelation I called at worse mom in my life and at the moment in the story that's when the most emotional stories since the most emotional moment the peak of that story the other part of the story we talk what visualization I began to think what would it be like to be skinny again and have people look at me again more be like that my husband jealous of the way other men were looking at me again I begin the long that can imagine without feel like and were talking about the future and you call this a future progression or visualization is not the names work with the ideas you talk about things in the future that the listener the person watching your video reading your cells or can imagine happening their life if you look at all of my sales letters or sales videos you recognize certain components is the part where you offer proof or evidence evidence of the problem here's how many people gain weight after having a child your statistics about your seven people never lose the weight here's how long it takes the average person to lose weight 70% of women end up 20 pounds heavier after having a baby 60% of them struggle and never lose the weight these are statistics overusing a little bit of science that there is evidence is a quote from a doctor at the Mayo Clinic is that type of evidence is that why should you listen to me for most fitness things the picture found a picture of said person skinny here's the before and after of me more evidence could be pictures of people live into your program before and after's we love those testimonies from people that have had patching a month with this program and I can keep hands off me save our marriage Kimmy from Arkansas's testimony and proof type of proof in that section as you design your letter as wondering for letters working you can look for similar letters and superstructures of right order often the easiest thing to do is to move sections rather this is why most of my sales letter smokes my sales orders on certain master start out as longform cells there is a star in this text so that as I'm tweaking them someone who's coming and look at them I sometimes talk to coaches or experts the look of the section of these two sections are out of order here's the shifting into bank and move the section on the quite easily and sometimes you can move the second run you find the universe herself but it's better course or software that will do that the first thing to look at when you're wondering if her sales letters work and work and audit the structure the second thing to do is find a good structure out there that's working the third element to see if your sales letter's garbage or if it's cold this will your proof you can never have too much proof of fact with most my sales letter I start out with just prove I'm currently writing that can decipher sales letter of hardware in some sections of them all I really have done is gather proof some improvements change the Medusa tweaks before right any words I organize and structure of the proof that's everything to me proof proof for that's why run reviewer contests that's why do everything I can to encourage and reward people for feedback feedback turns into that type of social proof evidence that's only one type of evidence we also see evidence of paychecks and direct deposits of life changes this is why in the 80s every time you saw late night commercials a man sitting front of the boat with two beautiful women next to the Wescott book must be really successful and to women those women only hang out with that guy she was rich must be rich look for the accoutrements of success when I first got an Internet marketing there was this particular guy that everyone would say oh that guides the best if you can get him to promote your business your life is change and I saw the guided event once in I said are you sure about that she's wearing $10 jeans set wearing expensive clothes the next they were sued to look like about 30 years old and Evan said no no you're wrong distress is like that Gissel fashion is that I don't know the students don't look old and also to look comfortable and then several people I know did business with the guy and nothing came of it it turned out that his business died a long time ago expense of noticing these little things it's not me being judgmental special you deal with your business you look for little clues that you should or should not do business with someone this is why sometimes we have to dress up just as though were going on a first date in business we do the same thing people look for those secondary things I could talk about living on the beach all the time if you're listening to this which course you are you can hear the birds around me many familiar the ocean in the background I try to limit the background noise by live on the beach and are so many wild birds are in such a beach environment that it's hard to hide recently someone asked me to record a video and they said you have a green screen is of course I record everything outside now one of the challenges it's very noisy here it's not always easy to get that quiet recording in fact I need to record a video later today for self process first one was working we did a full rewrite and up to find a quiet moment or place where there's no construction no people so I can do my five-minute new video it's hard to sometimes get that but people look at the backgrounds my videos as confirmation that I really do live on the beach sometimes I see people to talk about living island lifestyle and every single other pictures taken endorse suspicious those little things add up that's why you see a lot of pictures of me in fact the only places you see pictures of my family pictures out doing something is in my sales letters except the 1 Point Pl. what really matters that's proof that I really do live a great life like that other people would love to lead to and I say that right you want to follow people real life that you appeals to you for that you desire to be in alignment with and living on the beach something that appeals to a large number of people or the freedom of it that's why take a lot of pictures I door the flagship slot of videos outdoor court all my audio website I could record and doors were the be less background noise but I don't want to be inside obviously honest with you if I'm hoarding inside using my resume set up to turn off the air conditioner turnoff the water cooler turn off all the fans to get a really clean audio sound when I do that it is too hot paradise one of the outside I have never recorded a single section 1 of my books and any my dictations indoors I do outside of either sitting in the front restaurant or sitting on the dock or walk around in between my front yard now I am in the middle of negotiations to take over house that I may eventually by that's about 500 m away from you still on the beach and when that happens my recording location will change a little bit will still be outdoors I just might be sending my porch more often but circling back the elements of your sales letter if you don't have any proof you army testimonials you can have a lot of problems nobody wants the first person to try something another critical element that you'll notice every Sizzler every offer is a refund. Look given refunds is the worst feeling in the world I hate when some messes me for refund it just it's feels this notice rep feels that and watch others what he had just disappear sooner by something to go through the entire course consuming absorbent and as for the money back it's as though you're in a restaurant and you serve someone dinner the everything the government like I want a refund to create everything but that's life and that's necessary having a refund policy will help you make more sales and not having and so depending on who you are you 30 days six days 90 day some people to 365 days a Savior decide not satisfied a year from now so your money back if all my courses I do 30 days and for my services Carmody ghost write a book or for coaching there's no refund policy because you're buying time but you're just fine course of book training you can return my books Amazon if you buy the criminal don't like it you can refund any my courses if you're not satisfied with them but I worked very hard to make sure that doesn't happen but having that refund policy increase the number of sales I made at first I didn't have a refund policy was first billing server my Strauss account of time to invest and sell some of course a deal with refunds but as soon as I I think a little structured after a few months added in the refund policy and the sales began to increase accordingly you feel a lot more comfortable they can go if I buy this it's not what I'm thinking about what I'm looking for here's a change I can make the good thing about a refund policy as well in case you mind if you email me as I have to click the button to refund and inhabit customer service team when I get that email I can find out and say what was wrong with the course what was missing in fact somewhat distant refund on me was very nice about it to make up for the refund he did a great review when my other products and I said will what were you expecting what was missing and actually his feedback it's going to become the next product I create feedback can be very very very valuable and so there's a benefit to having your refund policy to in the end and it's a critical component of the sales letter we will throw these parts always different components so when you're creating your sales letter makes you have the right structure the competition look at the components if you're missing a particular component if there's no picture of you if there's no pictures of success if there's no proof of social testimonials any missing piece and cause a problem just as much of the snow bye-bye and sometimes the promise the price usually it's not if your product offers converting at 0% if you send a thousand visitors and no one buys anything change in the pricing effects it's not a price problem it's only when you're making sales without enough begin to test elements like the headline of the price as always getting a little feedback can be valuable if you an email a link to your first sales letter all efforts if you want to send in the things that you're working at you know that I'll take a look at it I always do answer every email personally as people often surprised to find out some happy to offer you that feedback and help you an extra set of eyes can really help I spent a great deal of money on hiring copywriting coaches to help me overcome these hurdles to give me a second set of eyes on what I worked on the let me know what they think of the things I'm working on really helps me to get extra view and I take the advice a lot of the time but not always sometimes I'll look at something and kind of see what they're saying I have my own opinion on it and when I then do a split test are two ideas to see which is more effective but these are things that you can do these are ways you can improve your sales letter having section about having extra feedback help with the first phase is to really try and get it right through tuk-tuk operating great deal the past as always I recommend downloading my ultimate swipe file has tons tons of amazing classic ads you can copy right hand and see the structure and really good feel for powerful and which 1 Best Way secret copywriting there really help you improve and masters process but the end of the day the only way to really get good copies to learn by doing so even if you're an absolute beginner in writing for sales or nervous as you never made a dollar line for that's okay you can do it if you take a peek at it send me an email check out I'm happy to do that and I'm excited about that and now you know exactly how to check to see if your sales letter is garbage thank you for listening to this week's episode serve no master make sure you subscribe so you never miss another episode will be back tomorrow with more tips and tactics on how to escape that reference head over to serve no now for your chance to win a free copy of Jonathan's bestseller serve no master all you have to do is leave a five-star review of this podcast see you tomorrow thank you for listening serve no master podcast head over to Servo\podcasts right now to find out how you can win a free copy of my brand-new book

Jonathan Green

Living the dream on a tropical island, Jonathan is the author of Serve No Master and the host of the Serve No Master Podcast.

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