Whenever I go to a conference I am the most popular person there within a day. Many people see my massive networking skills and think that I have this magic power that I was born with. I want to share with you how you can take advantage of the same skills I have developed.
The first step on the path to becoming popular is understanding yourself. And we start with a simple question:
Do you enjoy being bored?
The answer is of course no. Nobody likes to be bored. That is a word that describes the OPPOSITE of pleasure. If we dislike boredom then we must love the opposite of boredom – fun.
Now for everyone out there fun has a different definition. Some people think skydiving is fun and yet for me that would be a nightmare.
There are a lot of different ways of describing the feeling of social fun and good vibes is one of them. People love to be in a place where everyone else is having fun too. Emotions are infectious.
When you want to build a connection with someone you start by giving value. When I go to a conference, which is VERY rare these days, if someone recognizes me they often start hitting me with question after question. Just trying to gain as much knowledge from me as they can in this rare opportunity.
I totally understand that mindset. When we meet people that we admire or look up to we want to maximize our time with them and get as much value as we can.
But that leads them to get away as fast as possible. When people are hitting me with question after question it just drains me emotionally. It's a one way street and eventually I run out of energy and have to escape the conversation.
If you GIVE value first, then you can develop an unstoppable relationship. You give the person energy before you ask for anything and they will like you.
If you just sit down and start to analyze someone you want to meet you will start to see opportunities. For example, if you walk up to me in a conference and offer to buy me a drink you will get a LOT more attention than if you attack me with questions.
This is a pretty universal truth.
Nobody buys men drinks.
Pretty women get offered free drinks all day long, yet in my life I've probably been offered less than ten by new acquaintances. So each time it happens I feel special and unique.
Usually for a nice White Russian, you can get an hour of my time. Think about that. For the price of a drink you a turn a two minute conversation where I'm trying to get away from you into a one-hour conversation where I'm happy to share knowledge.
You are probably thinking that the next time I pop up at an event that I'm gonna end up with fifty free drinks in my hands…and that sounds like a pretty fun time to me!
I sometimes throw parties at conferences and everyone comes. I put together everything to make it the ultimate experience. I hire beautiful models, an amazing venue and provide loads of free drinks. Now before you accuse me of something, when there are women marketers at the conference I hire hot guy models too. That way everyone is having a really fun time.
For many people a party like that is an awesome value. I was running a party for a guy a few years ago and we walked up to an associate of mine who is a Mormon. I told my client to ask him about his family and to tell the guy about his upcoming wedding. Instead he starts talking about all the hot girls that will be at our party and the tons of booze.
He offered the WRONG value and destroyed his chance at a major relationship.
The key is to know what people consider fun. I have done business with this guy for years and even though we have very different lifestyles I know what he considers fun. I don't talk to him about models and booze. I talk to him about my family.
Take the time to learn what people consider fun and you can open some amazing doors. Take the time to give value first and a lot of amazing business opportunities will come your way.
What is your idea of a good time? How could I give you value if we met in person? Let me know in the comments below!